Yuki's Big Secret
by hatorigurl97
Summary: What happens when Yuki goes unconcious and randomly splurts out stupid "secrets" about the Sohma family? This is really funny, but for randomness... please review


A Strange Story in which Tohru finds out many surprising and embarrassing things about Yuki as well as the rest of the family.

Setting: Tuesday morning in the Sohma kitchen. Kyo is drinking milk and Yuki is sleepwalking around the porch. Since it is 4 feet high with no railing, stepping off by accident would not be a pretty sight.

TOHRU: Good morning, Kyo!

KYO: Uugh....

TOHRU: Where's Yuki? Gure-san said he was down here.

KYO: Out. On the porch. I had to move him there so he would stop walking into me, the stupid rat!!

TOHRU: EEEP! Sohma-kun could get hurt sleepwalking like that!!!

Tohru runs off to find Yuki wandering off of the steps of the porch and heading towards his secret base. She follows him quietly, and hides behind a bush. Yuki sits on the ground and starts ripping a few leeks into little shreds. He then makes a weird noise, and a rat comes scuttling out. Tohru realizes Yuki is talking to the rat, and the rat disappears and brings back 3 ducklings. The rat leaves, and Yuki starts feeding the little ducklings.

TOHRU: EEP! They're so cuuute!

YUKI: Tohru! I mean, um, hi, these ducklings just showed up, I don't...

TOHRU: I never knew you liked ducklings!!!

YUKI: Um... I've never really liked them, but...

TOHRU: But what?

YUKI: Kyo positively hates them. That's why I like them... I'm kind of attached, but please don't tell Shigure- he'll start laughing and then Kyo will find out and then Momiji will start acting like an idiot and then he'll blab to the whole school and.. and.. and..(he starts getting out of breath, and his eyes are getting more lavender than normal)

TOHRU: Oh, Yuki-kun!!! Is it your bronchial tubes?

Yuki is now so out of breath that he starts slipping into unconsciousness, and Tohru starts doing the little thing where she looks like she's trying to fly.

TOHRU: Oh, no!! I can't have anyone come out here because it's his secret base and it's secret but he could die but maybe he'll think I'm a traitor... Oh!! Who's that? (acting like an idiot, his health is more important.)

Flashback to the Sohma house:

SHIGURE: Kyon-Kyon-

KYO: DON'T CALL ME THAT YOU STUPID CANINE!!

SHIGURE: My humble apologies, Kyo-Bocchan. Is that better?

KYO: JUST SHUT UP AND TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO TELL ME!!!

SHIGURE: Can you go find Tohru? I believe she went outside with Yuki. I am positively starving ï. High school girls make such lovely meals.

KYO: Sure, whatever. I haven't yelled at Yuki at all today anyways.

SHIGURE: That's the spirit!!ï

The rustling that Tohru hears is Kyo walking around in the bushes. He falls out and falls onto Tohru, and with a poof of smoke, he is in his cat form sitting there hissing.

TOHRU: Oh Kyo, I'm so sorry!! Yuki-kun had a bronchial attack and I didn't know what to do so...

KYO: Just be quiet. I'll run and get Hatori... his house isn't that far away.

Tohru scratches him behind the ears and ties his clothes around his neck just in case he turns back before he gets back. When he reaches Hatori's house, he rushes in and finds no one there. On the way out, he sees some grayish hair on the edge of the couch, and assumes it to be Haru-san, but when he gets there, who else does he find but Aaya?

AAYA: My dear Kyo, how are you today? I came to see Tori-san, but he wasn't here so I decided to make myself at home. Is there a problem? Does it involve high school girls? I am always ready to give advice; I've been through it all before. Does it involve Kagura as normal?

KYO: Your little brother is unconscious and he can't breathe.

AAYA: Oh, really? How nice... OH, NO!!!! WHATEVER SHALL WE DO???

Aaya is panicking and Kyo is standing there frustrated, wondering why he's doing this anyways. Suddenly, he gets mad, and puts Aaya into a headlock.

KYO: Will you just shut up? Look, you're supposed to be the responsible one here.

AAYA: Do you know Tori-chan's cell phone number? His Blackberry? His screenname? His satellite phone number? His email address? Any way I can contact him?

KYO: I'm sure he's at Akito's. I don't think he wants to see me, so you go.

AAYA: Sure, whatever you say!!!!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Tohru is staring at Yuki as he has sunken into a sort of coma- he cannot breathe very well but is muttering long strings of words.

YUKI: bgibber bluh bluh..... ducklings... I looove ducklings...... I like to make little sweaters for them and watch them quack.... I like to feed them leeks... I want to schmugibber every single one of them... pat pat pat pat pat paat on the headï

TOHRU: YUKI!!! Are you awake?

YUKI: bluh... sensei and ha'ri and stupid snake in girl's bathroom overnight in high school.. blew up Japanese room.... movies every monday and Friday.. stupid stupid stupid stupid pervs 'cept for Ha'ri

TOHRU: Oh, my!!!! He must be out of his head!!!!

YUKI: I like little ducklings... kyo likes little fish... he likes to scoop them out of the river and eat them raw....

Suddenly, Yuki starts hyperventilating and he cannot breathe. Tohru screams and there is another rustling in the bushes. Aaya and Kyo come bursting through with Hatori who is lugging a 20-pound medical case with an oxygen mask and hits Shigure on the head accidentally when he suddenly appears. Shigure thinks that Hatori is mad at him, so goes away pouting.

Eventually, everything is all right and once they get back to Shigure's house, Tohru starts to ask questions.

TOHRU: Yuki? Um, sorry to ask, but...... do you really like ducklings???

YUKI: Um...maybe... why?

TOHRU: Well, when you were unconscious, you started spouting stuff about ducklings and sweaters and Kyo eating raw fish and Shigure and Aaya hiding in a girls bathroom when they were in high school and they blew up the Japanese room and saw movies every Monday and Friday

SHIGURE: ï Well, Tohru, I'm sorry to admit it, but the part about me was trueï

YUKI: Sorry, Shigure. You shouldn't talk so loud with Aaya about the "good old days" at the Juunishi Banquet.

AAYA: ï OOPS!!! ï


End file.
